The bad day turned into the bad week, and it's affecting me now more than it did in the past, whether I like to admit it or not. Donked around in some SCOOP with no results, but was fun nonetheless, then decided to try to get back on the horse yesterday at the 15s. Second hand of the very first sng I lose AQ to AJ, and my brain tells me "oh f*ck, here we go again." It's that negative attitude that's seeped into my game this week that is the biggest issue at this point, and it causes me to keep thinking back to this exact time last week where I just finished an awesome workout, had everything settled in my new apartment, and was ready to tackle the 45s with 2400 more in my Fulltilt account. Tough getting over that hurdle and keeping the negativity at bay.

It doesn't help that I keep losing, as I've not had a winning day since last Sunday. I almost did yesterday, was up 2 buyins, then decided to play a nice relaxing 4 table session for an hour yesterday evening, and proceeded to lose just about every one to end the day down 13 buyins instead. I've tried scaling back tables, turning off music, closing all other windows to keep my attention on the tables, and nothing is working, so clearly it's time for a change of plans. What that new plan is I don't know. At this point I need to start enjoying poker again, so first thing is to find some form of it that I actually like to play, because even yesterday starting the superturbos I still had this feeling of bleh sitting down and really didn't have much fun doing it. Before I was very pleased that I had the opportunity to do this for a few months before work starts, get up every day, work out, shower up, breakfast, then lay into some superturbos for a few hours. Now it's almost like a burden I feel I have to go through do because I made it part of my daily routine for the past month+. Obviously losing is a big part of that, but I've lost before with no appreciable change in my overall attitude or approach. I guess I've just never had such a dramatic and rapid downswing. First time for everything. I try to keep my enjoyment of the game separate from winning and losing, as I alluded to in my last post, and generally do fine with it, but this time has obviously been quite different. Too bad. Can't win em all, everyone's got their moments. Pick it back up, find something I like, then get it rolling.

Might switch to Stars for a bit just for a change of scenery, plus I've got more money there at the moment. Do some low variance double or nothings for a while maybe. Plus SCOOOOOOOOOP still of course, which I am gladly donating to again and again. Gone somewhat deepish in a few, no cashes, and despite my generally cool approach, busting out of tournaments still pisses me off, heh. Not played MTTs for a real long time prior though, so obviously good results can't be expected. Hell I haven't played FLOPS for a real long time prior, so it's kind of like starting back at square 1. Still fun though, especially when there's three or four other IRC goons splashing around in them too. Today is triple draw which I will not touch because I really have no chance there, and HU which I will probably do for kicks. Sweet irony, I'll probably fluke some final table in one of the SCOOPs for like 10 grand right after my worst downswing. It's gonna be sweet. Weekly stats may come out soon, if nothing else for a good laugh. I've recorded the finishes, but not run the numbers for the past three days I've played. It's going to be hilariously ugly. Well into double digit negative ROI I would venture. Stay tuned.