I got up pretty early on Friday, grabbed some breakfast and headed back to the poker room at the Mirage. The only games running were a $1/$2 NL and a $5/$10 Omaha, so I figured it would be a good opportunity to scout out the other rooms close by. I walk across the street to the Venetian only to find the same sparse pickings: a single, full $1/$3NL game with no lists in sight. Back across the street to Caesar's. Same bunch o' nuttin'. I was tired of wandering around, so I start the trek back to Mirage hoping some games have started.

As I get outside, my cell rings and it's Dave. He says there are no games at Bellagio, and I run down the list of places I've checked. He tells me he's sitting $1/$3 NL at Caesar's, and I head back inside to meet him. There's a single open seat so I go back to the brush to claim it, but two guys just beat me to the punch and now I'm third on the list. Dave mentions the $50 tournament at Harrah's at 11, so I go out to the casino floor to grab a cup of coffee to kill a few minutes. When I get back, Dave racks up and we walk over to Harrah's.

Stop #5: NL Tournament, $50 buy-in, $40 add-on (Harrah's)

I don't like tournaments all that much, but with so few games running it seemed like a cheap way to pass the time. 1500 chips to start, 20 minute blind levels and a single add-on in the first hour for 1500 more. No one seemed too interested in their add-on at first, so I take mine early to give myself some wiggle room. It paid off almost right away.

With blinds at 25/50, I pick up [Ad][Jd] in EP and make it 150 to go. It folds around to the SB who pushes all in, and the BB calls. I thought I was probably flipping coins with the SB, but the BB's call mucked up the works. I've dragged a couple small pots, and coupled with the add-on, I have them both covered pretty easily. I decide to gamboool it up and call. The SB shows 99 and the BB flips AQo. I'm kicking myself internally until the flop comes all diamonds. The turn has the other two drawing dead, and I drag a huge pot. This sends the guy with 99 into a rage. He snaps his seat card in half and storms out of the poker room. Quite the scene.

I don't mix it up much for the next half hour. The blinds are at 75/150 when UTG limps, a shorty two seats to my right pushes for his last 650. I call with my KQo and the limper calls. The flop comes KKT and UTG leads for 1000. I had a sick feeling I was probably behind, but I'm just not good enough to lay down that hand. I push, he calls and shows AK. I get no help on the turn or river, and I'm down to 1100. I mention aloud that I'm just not good enough to get away from that hand, and a guy to my right says, "No, there's no way you can once you see the flop; but, if it makes you feel better, I'd much rather see him with those chips than you." Compliments like that are always nice, and they're usually genuine when you're heading to the first break as the short stack with little opportunity to be a threat.

We start the second hour with blinds at 100/200, and I'm looking for anything reasonable to try to get back in it. I find A6o early and throw my stack in. A single caller holding TT, I get no help and I'm on the rail.

Trip Tally: -$990

Dave's still splashing around, so I take a seat at a game that just opened up.

Stop #6: $1/$2 NL (Harrah's)

I get $200 in chips and take a seat in what appears to be a pretty soft game. Early on, I call a couple raises with small PP, but I'm forced to fold the flop when I miss. After a few orbits, I'm two off the button with KTo and raise a couple of limpers to $7. The button calls, as do the limpers. The flop comes TT4, two suited. It checks to me, I lead for $25, the button calls and the limpers fold. The turn is an offsuit Q. I open for another $75, the button pushes and I call my last $40ish. He shows AT, I get no river love and I'm back at the cashier getting another $200 in red.

Later in the session, I pick up [Ks][Kd]. Player to my right makes it $13 to go, I repop to $30. He calls and we go to the flop, heads-up. Flop is [Kc][Qc][Qd]. He checks, I bet $35 and he c/r all-in for a small amount more. I call. He shows [Ac][Tc] for a royal draw, whiffs the turn and the river and I get a little bit back. I play a little while longer, mostly folding trash, until Dave comes over after bubbling in the tourney. I rack up, and we head toward Bellagio.

Trip Tally: approx. -$1140

The trip total will be a little fuzzy from here on out, although I have a pretty fair idea of where I was each step of the way.

We get to Bellagio, I tap the ATM one more time and we find almost no games running. The room was full of satellites for the WPT championship, so Dave and I added our names to the interest lists for $4/$8 and $8/$16 and grab a seat at the bar for a couple cold ones. It rapidly turned into a game of "How many pros can you see?" The full list would be longer than this entire post, but some of the notables were Sklansky, the elder Schulman, Chad Brown, Andrew Black, Mark Gregorich and Freddy Deeb. We both drop a few bucks on the video poker game at the bar when I look up and see James Woods right behind Dave ordering a coke. I say, "Mr. Woods! I'm a huge fan." He thanks me, Dave asks about the tourney and he chats with us for a minute or so before heading back to his game.

It gets to be around 2:30pm local time, so I call my friends back home to let them know how things are going. There's a small group of us from my office that go to happy hour every Friday, and they should be on their way out. Make my first call to another poker player in accounting, but I get his voicemail and leave a message. As I'm leaving a brief rundown, the bartender is frantically waving and telling me I can't use the phone at the bar. My next call is to another co-worker, but she's already at the bar and can't hear a single thing I'm saying. So, I find myself standing in the middle of Bellagio screaming at the top of my lungs, "JAMES WOODS! JAMES WOODS!" Still to no avail. I switch to screaming, "BYE!...BYE!...BYE!" until she understands that I've given up. A few minutes later, the accountant calls back and I have better luck with that call.

I sit down again to finish off my latest Guinness, and Dave gets a call from his friend. Again, the bartender starts flailing around in an attempt to get his attention. As it turns out, the bar outside the poker room at Bellagio is considered part of the sportsbook; and cell phones aren't permitted in any sportsbook in Vegas. So, if you're considering making or receiving a call while you're there, step outside the pillars running alongside the bar. Apparently that three feet makes a difference.

Dave's getting a little bored with the people-watching, so he convinces me to wander out on the floor for some cheap blackjack action...

Stop #7: $15 Blackjack (Bellagio)

We find a mostly empty table, and I buy-in for the nice round number of $105. Dave takes the first spot, I take the second. I burn through that cash pretty quick, so I get another $105. We have a brief, almost heated argument about hitting my 13 when the dealer is showing a 2. I insist it's correct, Dave and Belmonte, our dealer, insist it's wrong. Well...I can't be right all the time.

Trip Tally: approx. -$1350

After losing my cash on this second attempt (and still not a single blackjack the entire trip), I throw in the towel and check back on the lists at the poker room. Not much improvement. As I'm walking back to the floor, I pass Sammy Farha sipping a drink and chomping on a stogie...

"SAMMY! HOW YA DOING, MAN?"

To his credit, he maintained his composure about as well as could be expected when you have a big, bald white guy you've never seen before shouting at you like a long lost friend. I didn't want to push my luck, which had been considerably little to this point, so I meander back to the blackjack table.

Meanwhile, Dave is going on a sick run. He's taken over my spot, and has pressed his bets up from the minimum to $60-$70 a spot with a few black in front of him. I watch the luckbox for a few more minutes and leave again before I get conned into dumping more money on that table. My timing is impeccable as games start to open up in the poker room.

Stop #8: $4/$8 FL (Bellagio)

I take my seat with $200 and make the command decision to buckle down and fly right. I'm a fair amount in the hole already, and I still have two days to stop the bleeding. Early in the session, I get 88 in EP and raise. Get one caller in LP, and the blinds fold. Flop comes with one over, I bet and get called. Turn brings another over, I bet and get called again. I check the river and LP bets. He rolls his eyes when I call (is there anything better than that?) and shows his 44. I take the pot.

Dave comes over and flashes one of his yellow chips, and says, "Guess who's here? Shannon Elizabeth!" Now, that's worth getting up for a few minutes, so I follow him over to the other side of the high stakes room to see...an empty chair.

"She was sitting right there."
"I call shenanigans."
"No, really, she was."
"The James Woods sighting is still cooler."
"No it's not."
"I cannot corroborate your sighting. James Woods is still in the lead."

I go back to my game, and Dave gets called for his $15/$30 seat.

I limp in MP with 67o, a few others limp as well and the flop gets contested 6-handed. The flop comes 89T rainbow, and I say out loud, "Oh, this is going to hurt." It checks to me and I bet, getting a single caller. The turn is a 2, I bet again and he smooth calls again. The river bricks, and somehow knowing I was dead, I check-call and villain shows QJ for the flopped nuts.

After a little more grinding, the game starts to break up, so I decide to call it a night. I rack up my small profit, and check in with Dave before heading back to the Mirage to crash for the night.

Trip Tally: approx. -$1230

In our next episode...
$10/$20 with a WSOP champ, why Jamie Gold really isn't a total jackass and the waitress who doubles as a wind-up toy.