Let's start with an inherently anti-social activity, one whose sole objective is to separate your opponents from their (sometimes) hard-earned cash. Now, let's move said activity to the nameless, faceless internet, thereby removing any remaining shred of decency previously dictated by common courtesy.

Welcome to online poker.

Poker players are generally an unsavory lot, myself included. I avoid playing against the small number that I consider friends, except for FREEROLL MANIA!!! and other forum events. My friends with whom I play in home games aren't really poker players so much as guys that play poker. That's not to say they're awful, but it's more of a social activity, a drinking excuse and we don't play for much money. This leaves me with two types of opponents in "real" games: the complete stranger across a casino table, or the complete stranger halfway around the world.

The first type, the live game opponent, is generally a sociable sort. I'm usually one of the more extroverted and gregarious people at the table, and I try to get at least two other people engaged. I'd rather play with folks that are laughing and enjoying themselves than 9 morose individuals wearing baseball caps and Oakleys. On rare occasions, I'll meet someone with whom I'll hit it off; but, even then I never get too chummy because a latent distrust underpins the entire interaction. That rat bastard is trying to take my money. During the course of a game, tempers can sometimes flare. A bad beat here, a snide comment there, ganders get up. Rarely does it ever degenerate to anything more than merely an uncomfortable moment. A basic level of respect for fellow players still governs, and almost always manages to remain in place.

The second type, the online player, is generally a foul-mouthed hooligan WHO OFT3N TYPAS LIEK THES AND HAS HAD S3X WIT AL OF UR FEMAEL RALATIEVS. Multiple times, if they're to be believed. And why wouldn't I? My mom always was a goddamn whore after all, but, I digress. Any modicum of decorum normally observed between strangers is tossed aside. The +1 cloak of anonymity afforded by the medium removes any need for civility or good taste.

I must admit, I am one of the worst offenders of sensibilities in online poker today. Although I'm not proud of my behavior most times (telling a guy from Israel I was rooting for the Palestinians was a particular low point), I take great pride in my proper spelling, capitalization and punctuation. If I make an attempt to insult you, I can guarantee it will be well considered and easy to follow. I may dig up some of my rants from old hand history where I can find them. It may be entertaining for you, and cleansing for me.

Ultimately, I am not that person. I am one of the sweetest, most good-natured people you'd ever want to meet. Sarcastic? Yeah. Cynical? Of course. But it wasn't until some god forsaken individual decided to turn poker into a video game that MAED M3 IN2 THES LM3 DONK3Y U SE BFORA U NOW!!1!111111!1!!

Worst. Idea. Ever.