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I'm so embarrised, I've made a total fool of myself. My poker career is in ruins. Not because of my bankroll, but becasue of the way I'm playing. I have been playing poorly for the last few months, but no time in the last four years have thrown money away as I did last night.

It started off ok. I was playing (as usual) the 10 seater $0.20-$0.10 NLHE cash tables. On the second hand of the night I get dealt pocket Kings. I'm on the SB and get 6 limpers. I raise 8xBB and get one caller. The flop is 269rainbow. I bet the pot, they fold.

The next major hand was an hour later. The table had turned tight, so I decide to loosen up. Within two hands, I get dealt 76 offsuit. I limp and get called by the SB and BB. The flop comes K54 with one club . They both check. I bet half the pot, they both call. The turn card is J clubs. All three of us check. The river is a 3clubs. This gives me a straight, but also means a poss flush. The SB checks, the BB bets $0.20, I raise $0.80. The SB calls, the BB then re-raises $0.20-(worth it!), We all call. The SB mucks, the BB shows A2 off suit and I win a few $$$ with a straight. I then decide to tighten up again.

Anyway, lets get the the nitty-gritty. The hand where I lose everything, The hand that's destroyed me. The final nail in the coffin. It's not a 50-50 call. It's not one which you read then comment "Unlucky-I'd of done the same" or "Don't beat yourself up, it happened to me last week".

Indeed, it's a really poor, mind numbingliy, rotten smelling, humdinger of a poorly played hand. So to cut to the chase, I'm dealt pocket jacks, raise and get two callers. The flop comes 22T. First guy checks, second puts in a probe bet, I raise, first guy, re-raises, then we both call. First guy shows pocket Tens and holds on to win a mamouth $50. He wins, I stink.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
I'm so disappointed. I've blown everything, all those years on the higher limits, all those hours I spent riding the poker wave to success, then, in one swift move. It's gone. Everything I've fought for. I'm back to $429 (as I then lost a few more quid). I'm back to rock bottom. The lowest I've been since my losing run started.

I need to re-group my thoughts, identify, whats going wrong and come back bigger and better (albeit-with a small bankroll)

The fact of the matter is that you have to accept variance. You can expect to make mistakes, you can expect to have decent hands with lots of tough calls. If you are playing $25 NL, you should plan on winning about 6/10 sessions if things are going okay. You should expect to go up and down 50 at least, two buyins is nothing. Keep your head up, keep learning and making good decisions and you will be rewarded.

One thing that will help you BR management and control is to switch to SnG's for awhile. With what you have left, I suggest you move to Stars and try the $11 SnG's. They are pretty easy money and will give you a lot of value for the entry fee. Plus, even if you make a bad move, you lose only the tournament buy-in instead of a whole stack... hence, they are good for controlling oneself.

Don't beat your self on one hand. Further more, am not sure this is such a bad move - in these levels A naked T or a smaller pair might play the same.

the cold call scare me more then the c/r..



But seriously though, if I lost my head every time I made a bad call and lost a buyin (in my case its often a buyin and a half - since I like making big mistake when I'm deep against other deep players) I would have been a drooling, bald old man by now.



This is poker dude. Take a breather and go back to kick some serious ass.

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Greets Peter