Got this email and laughed.

[jimmer]

To give you all a little background,

I’ve met the groom about three times while playing poker a few years ago. I don’t even know his last name, let alone the fact he was getting married. As for the best man, I’m guessing he’s pretty poor at organising social events and has a very limited group of friends.

This email was sent to about 15 people.


Hello Guys,

OK, There was a weekend for which I would like to thank Gordon, Matt, Carlos, Dougie
Mainly it all went to Rat Shit? Well ,because there was a mouse in the pub car park Rich i would like to term it Mouse Poo.

Why? Because of YOU not the mouse; it's poo. Yes RAT SHIT all of you who made no f*cking effort. You know who you are. A couple of you made some effort and were held by the sods law of life, you also know who you are and will not feel branded by my condemning the rest of you as c**ts...
Should you ever hit one of those moments where life can take on such symbolic meaning by others gestures I hope that someone is there to make an effort for you. To show you that you are of value to them. I am certain that you are of value to Richi if this mail is intended for you. Is he of any value in your life?

Well here's your second and final chance to show some - effort.

July 11th. It's a Friday. The Friday night? The Saturday night? Who can make one of them? Preferably the Friday night. The event?
Well, the chance to remind you again? Rich G****** is getting married so to have some friends from the days back when get together and ask him if he's sure he wants to do this? Is the woman crazy? And associated questions etc. will make - hopefully! - one of his lasting memories which make life worthwhile when all that is left are those blurred events.
The actual evening idea? Well the canal barge is still an option IF enough say yes.. On a much more toned down seriously inexpensive cheapskate deal: a pub crawl. Starting in Bath and taking a bus, yes a bus (though it may be a mini bus with chartered driver) to Bristol on the A/B roads and stopping at every pub on the way and way back...

Will I receive more than three responses? I hope I have pissed you pathetic pieces of rat poo off enough to get back to me!

It’s not all doom and gloom though. Thanks to this email, I now know the grooms last name.

Let’s hope for Rich’s sake, his wife-to-be is a little less demanding than his best man.

[kompis]

I got this email and lolled


Hello aelred -

We are writing to inform you that we have suspended your chat priv-ilege for 24 hours as a result of your chat on 2008/06/30.

Name-calling and disparaging remarks about another member's race, nationality, gender, or sexual preference is against the Card Room Rules.

At the end of 24 hours, your chat will automatically be reinstated. There is no need to write to support.

Our goal at PokerStars is to be a fun place to play, where everyone can feel comfortable. Abuse and other disruptions to the games takes away from everyone's enjoyment, and therefore will not be tolerated.

We thank you for your cooperation.

Regards, PokerStars Chat Moderation Team

The following chat was observed

"pay to see necxt time, queer"

[UrAteUp]

Jimmer you should be so lucky as to be associated with this guy...lol...it's kind of like holding broadway on the flop and getting beat by 27s hitting a flush.

Kompis your situation doesn't surprise me. From our frequent talks on IRC I am surprised PS even gives you chat... ...you can make Mike The Mouth look like a boyscout...

[crack]

I got this email and lolled.

At Full Tilt Poker, we are committed to ensuring the highest level of fairness and integrity in our games. Upon conclusion of a recent investigation of cash games, we have determined that some of your opponents were in violation of the Full Tilt Poker Site Terms and End User License Agreement.

We have permanently closed the offending accounts, and we are redistributing the account balances to the players who were victimized by these violations. The reimbursement calculation was based on the number of hands played against the offending players, and the amount won or lost against them.

With this redistribution, we have determined that you are entitled to a refund of $413.9, which will be placed in your account in the next 24 hours.

For a number of reasons, we are unable to provide the names of the offending players, or any other information regarding this case. We thank you for your understanding in this regard.

In addition to our automated systems, we carefully investigate every concern of suspicious activity at our tables. The vigilance of our players in reporting suspicious behavior is an important contribution to our ongoing diligence against unethical conduct. If you believe you have witnessed unfair play at our tables, please don't hesitate to contact us at security@fulltiltpoker.com.

If there is any other way we can be of assistance, please let us know.

Thank you,

Full Tilt Poker

[supafrey]

400!!!! ?!

That may be one of the largest payouts I've heard in a while. You must have had two guys teaming against you on a 3 handed 5/10 table or something.

[crack]

Meh, what made me lol was they tried to depo it when the cashier was down.

Payment Method: Cash
Amount: $413.90

Status: DECLINED

[Felting]

I got this email and lolled


Hello aelred -

We are writing to inform you that we have suspended your chat priv-ilege for 24 hours as a result of your chat on 2008/06/30.

Name-calling and disparaging remarks about another member's race, nationality, gender, or sexual preference is against the Card Room Rules.

At the end of 24 hours, your chat will automatically be reinstated. There is no need to write to support.

Our goal at PokerStars is to be a fun place to play, where everyone can feel comfortable. Abuse and other disruptions to the games takes away from everyone's enjoyment, and therefore will not be tolerated.

We thank you for your cooperation.

Regards, PokerStars Chat Moderation Team

The following chat was observed

"pay to see necxt time, queer"

You must have been netcopped because I should probably have gotten 50 of those already and haven't heard a peep.